Thanksgiving History Fan T-Shirts

"Let's keep it small-just the Pilgrims, the Indians, and the Rosenthals."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

Plymouth Rock

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"It'll never be ready in time."

Forensic evidence now proves that the shots in the balcony weren't meant for the President, but rather the show's cast.

Maypole

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

'I don't know how I could've forgotten my lines. I was all ears when they gave them to me.'

Beauty and the Baste

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

Barak Obama on the Globe

The Race to Ukraine

'Leave it to the school system to turn an enjoyable meal into an historical event.'

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

Squanto's less than famous older brother Squinto.

Cuban vaccine exceeds 92 effectiveness

"Remember the good old days, when all we had to worry about was a dollar-sixty-a-pound sirloin?"

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

'Is it organic?'