Test Ninja Mugs

Psychometric tests would weed out 25% of all applicants (medical schools).

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Go team!

Nervous Oral Testing

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

Trade Show Sherpas

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

"I think that might have been one deadline too many for Tim!"

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

The Card Flinger

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

'Gimme all your cache!'

'I'm sorry, Bennett; but we gave the job to O'Toole. You have the know-how, but he had the know-who.'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

Tourist and Butterfly and Goat

Great coaching is about building constructive relationships...

While you were out...

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

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