Tenure Achiever Pillows

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

The rope to success.

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

'This part was tenure.'

Jumping Man

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

We like to show the endowment to newly tenured professors.

"10,000 steps a day? I can do that."

Well done, I hear you hit your target. Yes, a week for two in Hawaii.

'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'

"Hannibal got elephants over the Alps. Bearing that in mind, somebody think of something."

Kicking Butt Since 1998

Graduate of 2021

Woman and scales.

'...... in sickness and in health, through the long lean years before tenure or perhaps no tenure, for better of for worse ......'

'Is this making it?'

Ladder of Success (some assembly required).

You're in the Engineering Quad, Just Back Away Slowly and Find the Humanities Quad.

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

"You can't cut my head off! -- I have tenure!"

Goal

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."

'University tenure, now there's a sweet gig.'

'I'm just calculating the probability of my getting tenure in this university.'

'I'm a stay-at-home soccer mother.'

(Long complicated equation) = TENURE.