Temperature Testers T-Shirts

'My wife is frigid!'

The interested bystanders.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

Arhimedes had principles: 'I'm not getting in that bath till it's 23 degrees.'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

Big Burgers.

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

WORLD COUNCIL ON GLOBAL WARMING, 'I regret to report that there's no global warming threat after all - we just got Fahrenheit and Celsius mixed up.'

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

Minnesota Weather.

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'I realize this is an advances aerobics class, but I still don't think we're ready to work out to 'Flight of the Bumble Bee'!'

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"

'You look bored, sir - How about the Chef's Surprise?'

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.