Temperature Testers T-Shirts

'My wife is frigid!'

The interested bystanders.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Arhimedes had principles: 'I'm not getting in that bath till it's 23 degrees.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

Big Burgers.

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

WORLD COUNCIL ON GLOBAL WARMING, 'I regret to report that there's no global warming threat after all - we just got Fahrenheit and Celsius mixed up.'

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

Minnesota Weather.

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"

'I realize this is an advances aerobics class, but I still don't think we're ready to work out to 'Flight of the Bumble Bee'!'

'You look bored, sir - How about the Chef's Surprise?'

It's not a tongue depressor, it's a used popsicle stick. If you can name the flavor, your taste buds pass the test.