Telephone Conversationalist T-Shirts

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

'Hello, is that the government? Yes, I was just wondering... is the lambada still forbidden?'

'I really don't know. I'll give you my wife's number - she knows everything.'

"Hello darling!" "Me!" "Henry!" "Henry, your husband!"

"Sick? No. Everything is fine. We're all just under the weather."

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

A senior moment.

"Nick, are you listening or just buffering again?"

"I'll have to go now, Penny. My boyfriend keeps wittering on about something or other!"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

Come to think of it...I could do with a showcase kitchen as it goes...

"We'd love to, but we had too much wine and cheese in the eighties."

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Little Known Scenes From History: Alexander Graham Bell in prison inventing the phone so he can make his one call after being arrested.

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

"I was on a roll at first. Then, things began to unravel, and my life just went down the drain."

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communications with patients in personal, supportive but not disempowering course?"

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

'When a caller asks for me, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop saying 'who'?'

"Some days I wake up grumpy. Other days, I let him sleep."

"The Department of Revenue and Tax? No, sorry, never heard of it before. You must have dialed the wrong number. This is the Department of Tax and Revenue."

"You've been avoiding me." "Have not, Uncle Mort." "For weeks, you've been dashing out of rooms as soon as I entered." "Coincidence." "What about when I knocked on your door yesterday and you jumped out the back window?" "Look, Uncle Mort, I just didn't want to go through what I went through in 1994." "I was just going to say one thing about the 30th anniversary of the OJ Simpson 'trial of the century!'" "You would think the 'trial of the century' would've been the Nuremberg trials!"

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

"IRL sucks."