Teleconference Facilitator T-Shirts

'I take it you're having the businessman's lunch.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

Inclusive speech

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

The first week of the brainstorming session went slowly.

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

How to engage an audience

'I'm feeling a sense of conclusion here, so let's draw things to a close.'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

As the Chief Corporate Adrenal Gland of the company, Fred's recommendations were rarely a surprise.

"I hope I haven't taken you aback by asking you to attend the change seminar."

The facilitator from hell.

'And now, Gentlemen, that we have our thinking caps on, let us continue.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, today we're going to get down to nuts and bolts.'

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

'Benson will you stop trying to dominate the meeting.'

'We're running late and I have much to cover. Can you hold your eight-part question for later?'

"Nothing beats work events to mingle, build relationships, and backstab fellow colleagues."