Teeter Totter Enthusiast T-Shirts

'It was horrible Doctor!! One minute we were playing on the teeter totter and the next he was gone!!'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"Werewolves of London..."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"It's his emotional support animal."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

Childlike love

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

One!

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Tic-tac-toe

Teddy and friends.

What can I play?

Jack in the box on strike.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

Help me!

Inaction Figure

Remote Control Duck

Typical bored kid of the New Millennium

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

Toys

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

'AQ popgun? I want a field model Browning pump chambered for the 3-inch magnum load.'

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'