Technology Manager Pillows

"Simpson, you promised you wouldn't tell anybody I turned down Bill Gates!"

GREEN IT. 'But the power savings are considerable...'

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

Technology - Not High Tech, Not Low Tech, But Just the Right Tech.

Prompter malfunction. You're on your own.

"Switching to drones has made having to be everywhere at once much more manageable."

"Artificial Intelligence? How do I know it doesn't stand for 'Automated Idiot'?"

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

"Oh sure, we cut labor costs by replacing humans with machines but now there's nobody to suck up to me!"

We've booted up your computer...but you, we're booting out!

'You see, Jimmy, if I allow you to upgrade your computer, then all the other managers will go 'waa waa waa'.'

'Steve Jobs says humans are obsolete, so I've decided to replace you with more apps.'

"You're my technology manager, come up with a way to delete more employees."

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

"The paper free, enviro-office of the future. Paper bins re-purposed for technology older than a week!"

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"Google car."

"Meet the author"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Ascent of Machine.

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"I hate performance review season."

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

Artifishial Intelligence