Technology Aficionados Prints

"I just got a new high-def television, but I can't enjoy it because I have low-def eyesight."

I want to develop a routine. It'll make me more interesting. How so? A person who regularly does the same things at the same time is boring. Either that, or he's establishing an alibi to cover for nefarious deeds he's controlling from a distance using apps on a disposable smartphone. I bet you're wondering what my other hand's doing under this table right now. Never say that sentence again in life.

You're live blogging. Sadie asks a question. Why not actually experience what you're doing? She's talking about something. Instead of narcissistically chronicling your life, live it. More talking. Call it live living! Yelling about something.

Computer Dating for Pigs

'It's a great invention, Mr. Bell, but the ringtone is sort of boring.'

"We're closing this department and replacing you with a mobile dating app."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

In the Guru District

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Claus 2.0

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

Evolution.

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."