Technical Translator Prints

"Is he from another planet...?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

She - Interpreter - He.

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

Henry the amazing talking dog.

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

The Family Joules: Part 6

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

Jorge Luis Borges

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Dept. for Obfuscation - Out for periodic diurnal replenishment of nutritive substances.

East End Maps.

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian.'

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'