Tech Support Worker Prints

"Don't read it! He's phishing."

Computer fight.

'You'll have to hang on a second, dear - I need to re-boot.'

"Yes I DO mind being put on hold! I only have a two week life span."

"We've been hacked by our enemies! Is there anyone who know something about computers?"

I'd rather be phishing.

"Switch it off and switch it on again, that will be $85."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Gadget geek.

"I do tech support for the cloud."

Computer Expert

If Disney was a software company

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Terry had a computer bug.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

Hardware and software

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?