Tech-savvy Plotter Mugs

"It's a lot easier to throw someone under the bus when you have the app."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Is there a fireman in the house?'

Farmer planting the next crop of PC's.

Oceanographer

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

"I'm super excited about this fabulous opportunity to improve!"

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

Finally - a software package that makes it snap to write that novel.

"Virtual gardener."

'Spinach: The Prequel'

"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"

I'm not avoiding you!

'Frankly, your investment portfolio dropping 42 isn't quite the mystery plot we're looking for.'

'Aye, he'll come up a treat next spring.'

'It's Gardner's Question Time for you.'

I have an idea for a new internet startup. What is it? I can't tell you. Someone may overhear. It's such a good idea, someone's bound to steal it if I tell even a single soul You're supposed to beg to hear it. You're not begging. You had your chance.

"Ding dong ditch is fun, but it's better to watch their reactions when you pretend to be soliciting."

'Have you lost the plot?'

'In some states, this would be a felony.'

'Shhh. He's just playin' dead. Thinks he can survive the Flush.'

Desk bins: Exposition, Complication, Climax, Resolution.

Farmers and new technologies

"Actually, I'v done some of my most devious thinking in the old time-out chair."

"I built this scale model of town to plan out our bank robbery. I added the volcano for dramatic effect."

'You know the rules... Any news of the death of a relative to be on my desk by 5pm on the day before the match.'

Rudy says you've asked him to go shopping with you tomorrow. That's right. To be clear, we're talking about Rudy, my nephew, who you profess to dislike with a passion. Profess? Are you suggesting I actually like him? You miserable coot, I'm not merely professing, I genuinely think he's a first-rate materialistic jerk. You're up to something. It's delicious. Stay tuned.