Tech-savvy Mystic Prints

'I switched from tarot cards to a computer years ago.'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"Oh, I'm sorry...LIE, not DIE. Someone close to you will LIE tomorrow. Darn auto correct."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

Fortune-teller: 'AHH, what the...?!' Connection Error!' A fortune-tellers channelling has been interrupted with a Connection error message like on the Internet

'I'm searching for a hotspot.'

"I'm afraid I can't make contact today. I've forgotten my password."

"Oh no . . . The crystal ball's gone offline. . ."

"I'm gettng a message from the Other Side ... buffering ... still buffering ..."

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"Stay with me. I just want to cross-check your fortune with a quick Google search."

'Wait! What's this? A text message from the other side.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"This shouldn't take long now that I'm on broadband."

"It's a message for you from the other side."

"You've got mail."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Spell Check

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"Christmas pudcast"

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

"When shall we three meet again...?"

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

'I'd still be in a luxurious office instead of a smelly cave if I really knew the secret of keeping customers.'