Tech-savvy Finance Enthusiast Pillows

'No, this is not my finances. With direct deposits and automatic bill pay, my money no longer needs me.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

The day the stock market went UP.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"What's a debenture?"

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

The Shrinking Dollar.

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Stock market investment advice

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.