Tech-savvy Competitor Pillows

"And now to present you with the uploading of your bitmedals."

Track Phones

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Right click for yes...

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

City Marathon.

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

'No, I'm not being tracked by scientists, just by my wife...'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

"Oh, just sitting back and letting algorithms do all the stock trading."

"Buy my data $20"

"And this dashboard has all the electronic distractions grouped into one convenient confusion cluster."

Rap-Nav.

'My app just ate your widget.'

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

LOUIE'S GARAGE, 'I can go along with replacing the carburetor and the battery, but what's this $128.43 fcor a 'new warp nacelle'?'

'Technology is wonderful. It makes your people so much easier to use.'

"Holding an open contest on social media and announcing the winner may not be the most secure way to pick a password."

We don't use pink slips anymore. Just press 'delete' for Henderson and Philips.

Have you considered using email?

Questions Online

Employee performance review software.

"...and this year's Special Achievement Award for the longest undetected game of computer Solitaire goes to..."

"Since we became a paperless workplace, it's harder to keep track of how much work Ziegler is actually doing!"

"The nice thing about being married is that I no longer feel obligated to like your posts."