Tech-savvy Competitor Pillows

"And now to present you with the uploading of your bitmedals."

Track Phones

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Right click for yes...

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

City Marathon.

'No, I'm not being tracked by scientists, just by my wife...'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

"Buy my data $20"

"Oh, just sitting back and letting algorithms do all the stock trading."

"And this dashboard has all the electronic distractions grouped into one convenient confusion cluster."

'My app just ate your widget.'

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

"My fitbit keeps track of my calories burned while I chase yield on my stocktrading app."

Rap-Nav.

LOUIE'S GARAGE, 'I can go along with replacing the carburetor and the battery, but what's this $128.43 fcor a 'new warp nacelle'?'

'Technology is wonderful. It makes your people so much easier to use.'

Have you considered using email?

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

We don't use pink slips anymore. Just press 'delete' for Henderson and Philips.

"Holding an open contest on social media and announcing the winner may not be the most secure way to pick a password."

Questions Online

Employee performance review software.

"...and this year's Special Achievement Award for the longest undetected game of computer Solitaire goes to..."