Tech-savvy Accountant Pillows

'My client pleads not guilty. His creative accounting software made him do it.'

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

Teacher removes 'School Paper' sign and replaces it with 'School Blog' sign.

"Oh, just sitting back and letting algorithms do all the stock trading."

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

"Raise your right hand and swear on the tablet..."

We don't use pink slips anymore. Just press 'delete' for Henderson and Philips.

Have you considered using email?

Employee performance review software.

"We're running late. Skip the brief, just give me the tweet."

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'

'I don't know about you, Sam, but so far my clients aren't going for this cross between tradtional and online trading.'

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

Good Accountant/Bad Accountant.

Error! Lesson Plan has no Aim!

How to find gold.

'I need ur homework ASAP!'

'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'

Student to teacher about flash cards: 'When did they add emoticons to the cards?'

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

"Jimmy Jones' parents allow him to be home schooled by Google."

"Students only know the three Rs in context of the tree Ts: texts, tweets and tumblr."

'So the cuts have started then?'

"This automated stock trading app can halt rallies or downturns, depending on your market strategy."

"How many investment apps will this get me?"

"You just put it in the slot - you don't to push the 'send' key!"