Tech Noob Chuckler T-Shirts

"Hey! What are them naked ladies doing on my scale?!"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"You are still here."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

AI Summit

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

"'Page Not Found' always sounds a little 'careless'. Maybe we could replace it with 'Page Temporarily Engaged in Promoting Alternative Client Focused Services'."

"Frankly, you seem a little fleshy for our team."

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"No, it isn't a mobile. It's my pipe."

'Don't disturb your father when he's in stand-by mode.'

"We programmed it to behave exactly like a human... it never stops complaining."