Tech Humor Appreciators Gifts

"Here we call it a pregnancy, not a startup."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Talk nerdy to me."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Darn autocorrect!"

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

'Mom, I need a push.'

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

Social network site runs into trouble.

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

Virtual Lap Dancing

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

I hate getting ready for Y1K.