Tech Humor Aficionados Prints

Human Resources: Due to Drones, Driverless cars, and Apps, we are not now hiring human beings...

'Hey, c'mon, I wanna hear ya say 'Have a nice day'...

Virtual Lap Dancing

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Darn autocorrect!"

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"You are still here."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'Mom, I need a push.'

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

AI Summit

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"