Tech Gadget Guru Gifts

'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'

Man walking dog with headphones plugged into dog.

Virus moves to mobile phones.

"Instead of texting me, you want me to open my mouth and articulate thoughts? Phew, this better be good!"

'I can remotely activate almost anything in this office, except him.'

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

Car Racing.

'Do you know where my purse is?' - 'I'd love a cup, thanks.' - 'I didn't ask if you wanted a drink! I can't find my purse.' - 'Oh, right. Have you tried ringing it?' - 'Listen up or die!' - 'Okay, tell me what it is while I send this text message.'

So many cameras here I'm thinking of joining the actor's union.

"Sorry sir, but we don't have time to look for your PDA."

"Can't you bring the paper like a normal dog?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

The Computer Bore

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Evolution.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'Can our software do that?'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Walking Luggage.