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'Let me have 20 fat, 40 carbohydrate, 40 protein and a cup of tea.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Staff support"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

21st century water cooler conversations.

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

Reach for the Star.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Women Supporting Women!"

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Team Leader

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"Any questions?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Go team!

Welcome to the Team

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'