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Respect for Teachers Tombstone

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'Oh, Christ.'

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

Angry Joseph in school nativity play says to Innkeeper: 'No, we did not book online.'

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

Parents teacher conference.

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

Congratulations on your PGCE.

Teacher's Workroom.

"Hey, look at that. It looks like the stuff we've been using to text each other for years."

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

"My parents appreciate teachers, but me, not so much."

We have too many students! I know. Send them home!

'There's a meeting at school tonight, Dad. The superintendent, the principal, the school board, and you.'