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Respect for Teachers Tombstone

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'Oh, Christ.'

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

Thanks for the lift, Nana. Don't get any big ideas about acting. It's just a high school musical. I guess you aren't coming back to see the show. Correct. Tonight! Cats! Spring musical. That's ok. Slam! I'm parking now to get a front row seat!

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

Angry Joseph in school nativity play says to Innkeeper: 'No, we did not book online.'

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

Parents teacher conference.

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

Congratulations on your PGCE.

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

"Hey, look at that. It looks like the stuff we've been using to text each other for years."

We have too many students! I know. Send them home!

Teacher's Workroom.

"My parents appreciate teachers, but me, not so much."

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

Who'll fill in while your English teacher is on maternity leave? Probably and old-bag substitute. Teach English for a couple of months? I'd love to! Umm, nana? Aren't you too old to go back to teaching? Au contraire! They don't want anyone who could possibly get pregnant. Uh-oh. Age discrimination.