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Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"OK, who can tell me why it's important to know stuff."

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'

Graduated Cylinders...

"That's alright, I'll keep you company: I'm not in a hurry to get to school..."

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

Drama class

"People...do you FINALLY understand the concept of 'Visual Narrative?'"

'Oh look, I a flying saw sir.'

'I do know the capital of France. It's the letter 'F'!'

I Do Not have OCD

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'

"Here's my report card. . . I'll be staying with friends for a few days!"

"Laugh if you want, but I have my phone in here."

I will stop making two people who have nothing in common fall in love.

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

"What do you call a fish with no eyes?" "A Fsh."

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"

'I'm sick of history - is there never an end to it?'

"I didn't bring an apple, so how about a fruit roll up?"

'I understand that Mrs. Doan is retiring at the end of the semester.'

"Sometimes while eating in the classroom, I think about writing a children's book, which would begin, "Once upon a time there was something called a teachers' lounge. . .'."

Water spurting from boy's ear while he drinks from a fountain

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

'Please excuse Harold for not having his homework. His internet service provider's servers were down and he couldn't connect to his online homework helpline.'

'I think that's right, but let me check.'

"This is going to be a fun year."