Tax Tale Tinkerer T-Shirts

'It's true

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

Panama Papers Scandal

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

Money laundering.

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

"Your tax return reads like one of your novels."

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

'This is great fiction! My cousin, an agent in Hollywood, may be able to sell book and movie rights.'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

"I moved to the coast to get away from the Inland Revenue..."

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'I made my fortune the old fashioned way - concealing it from the government.'

Accountant's Awards - "Our next award is for 'Tax Loophole of the Year'..."

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

"Is that before or after tax?"