Tax Accountant Pillows

'If the government keeps attacking rich tax dodgers I've a good mind to move abroad and not pay my taxes somewhere else!'

'I'm with the I.R.S. you had better report this as income.'

What's this deduction of $20 million for gifts?

"It started out as my itemized deductions, but it's turned into a novel."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Survived the audit'

"Sorry, folks, but I'll have to see your tax return."

'First the good news...since you earn under $400,000, you won't have to pay the millionaire's tax.'

'About this deduction for robbing the rich and giving it to the poor...'

Tax Accountants Gone Wild CD - $17.95.

'Just take a smidgeon off.'

'You want some protection money? Oh, thank God. For a moment there I thought you were from the Inland Revenue.'

'I have to hand it to you, you're always ahead of me!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Mr. Turtle is interested in 'Single Prayer Health Insurance'...'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

'I have trouble sleeping worrying about the alternative minimum tax.'

Let me do the crying, okay?

'Okay, you can deduct your daughter, but you can't deduct your daughter's imaginary playmate.'

Giving with one hand... taking away with the other.

'Well, well, well. . . I see you've hidden several thousand eggs in an offshore basket. . .'

Your umbrella policy doesn't cover a lost umbrella.

"Well, the good news is that it'll only cost your arm this year."

"Cheer up, Mr. Claus. At least someone believes you're real."

Inland Revenue: 'Here you go...I'll have that thank you!'

'After cheating death, I naturally assumed I could cheat taxes, too.'

'Of course we love you. You're our tax deduction...'

'That's scary! Death, taxes and the smiley-face symbol have merged into a super-agency?'

Tax Accountant: More that 4521 Loopholes Transacted.

How much would coffee cost if they did pay tax?

Will work for a tax rebate.

'Inland revenue? Your letter doesn't apply to me, I live on the coast!'

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

'Junior, can you hack into the I.R.S. computer and get me a bigger refund?'

Grim Reaper at the Internal Revenue Service