Tax Accountant Pillows

'If the government keeps attacking rich tax dodgers I've a good mind to move abroad and not pay my taxes somewhere else!'

'I'm with the I.R.S. you had better report this as income.'

What's this deduction of $20 million for gifts?

"It started out as my itemized deductions, but it's turned into a novel."

'Survived the audit'

"Are your taxes based on usable living space or actual square footage?"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"Sorry, folks, but I'll have to see your tax return."

'About this deduction for robbing the rich and giving it to the poor...'

Tax Accountants Gone Wild CD - $17.95.

'First the good news...since you earn under $400,000, you won't have to pay the millionaire's tax.'

'I have to hand it to you, you're always ahead of me!'

'You want some protection money? Oh, thank God. For a moment there I thought you were from the Inland Revenue.'

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

'Just take a smidgeon off.'

'Mr. Turtle is interested in 'Single Prayer Health Insurance'...'

"Well, the good news is that it'll only cost your arm this year."

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'I have trouble sleeping worrying about the alternative minimum tax.'

"Cheer up, Mr. Claus. At least someone believes you're real."

Giving with one hand... taking away with the other.

Let me do the crying, okay?

'Well, well, well. . . I see you've hidden several thousand eggs in an offshore basket. . .'

'Okay, you can deduct your daughter, but you can't deduct your daughter's imaginary playmate.'

Your umbrella policy doesn't cover a lost umbrella.

'I can grant you 3 wishes, but I'm not responsible for the tax ramifications.'

Grim Reaper at the Internal Revenue Service

'Junior, can you hack into the I.R.S. computer and get me a bigger refund?'

Inland Revenue: 'Here you go...I'll have that thank you!'

'After cheating death, I naturally assumed I could cheat taxes, too.'

'I've been through your tax return and for the minute there's nothing to worry about.'

'Of course we love you. You're our tax deduction...'

Will work for a tax rebate.

'I don't believe in traditional capital punishment. I'm sentencing you to be taxed to death.'