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Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

"What other tricks does he need?"

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"Okay, okay. 'Canine.' That's 'K-N-i-N-E.' Oh rats!"

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"All rise."

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

Centaur Sprinter

Man practising the violin.

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

Therapy for the cow dependent

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

Men and Women's changing rooms

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."