Tablet Guru Pillows

Jeff loved being able to work from anywhere on his Windows device.

"Can you show me how to turn off Dark mode?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

The Computer Bore

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Evolution.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

e-shoes

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Walking Luggage.

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Crap from the future.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'