Survivalist Humor Appreciator T-Shirts

"D'you mind if we change the subject...?"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"We both knew this day would come, Samantha... I'm leaving you and taking the kids."

"This better be high tide."

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"When they guaranteed delivery anywhere, anyplace, they weren't kidding."

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Stay in school.

Look! A penny!

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

"Karl, act like a stuffed porcupine!"

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