Survival Scenario Appreciator Pillows

I am saved!

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

On day twenty nine, Dave decided that he would start to cut his way through the dense forest to find out more about the north side of the island.

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Desert Island Mishap

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Ticket and passport, please."

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

'I hate evolution!'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

Help! Send fishing tackle!

The trap

"I'm realizing how useless I'd be in a post apocalyptic world - All I do is draw cartoons."

"I swear, if you say 'I'm bored' one more time . . . "

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

Shipwrecked.

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

Last mirage for the next 20 miles.

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"