Survey Survivors Mugs

"I was hoping to retire at 60 - but I have to wait until 65 if I want to finish this latest survey."

Evil Exams!

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"It's hard to manage a staff meeting in a company whose employees all have laser pointers."

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

The Department of Lessons Learned...

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

"Where do you see yourself after 5 beers?"

"Can you characterize yourself in five words."

'Where do you see yourself five years from now?'

I have an opening for someone like you. It's called a door.

'How did the meeting go?'

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

Test Therapy

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years apart from a thousand miles from this f****** s**thole?"

Suggestions Box

Medical Treatment.

"The aliens that control my brain really want me to get this job."

It was the harshest job interviews Peter had ever attended...

"My last job was as a mine interpreter...I would go to a park and describe what the mime was trying to convey."

"Hell and back. Very impressive."

'The interview panel will see you now.'

"Your credentials are certainly impressive."

"It's NBC. They want to know what it's personally worth to us for them to keep 'E.R.' on the air."