Surgery Fanatic Pillows

'Mrs.Neal, we did everything we could: anglopasty, laser surgery, replaced a valve, put in a shunt. . . Your husband still snores like a musk ox.'

"Any chance that was you who just screamed in excruciating pain?"

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'You do Botox?'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

Body Building

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"What should we do with this extra part?"

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Anatomy.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

Anatomy.

He really puts his heart into it!

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

Several of the med students had been cheerleaders when they were undergrads.

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'Whew! Five surgeries in one day! Well, let's try to make this last one end on a happy note!'

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

'Thanks for allowing these high school students to watch your surgery. Check it out on YouTube!'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

'I knew there was another book in him!'

'Laser Surgery While You Wait.'