Surgery Fanatic Pillows

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'You do Botox?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Body Building

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"What should we do with this extra part?"

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Anatomy.

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

Anatomy.

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

He really puts his heart into it!

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

'Laser Surgery While You Wait.'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

'He really put his heart into it.'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"I ran out of plastic skin, so I grafted on her credit cards!"