
Clarence Thomas
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Clarence Thomas
Trial by Media
'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'
"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."
"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."
Barristers
Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!
'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'
"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"
Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.
"Objection! Pummelling the witness."
"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"
Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.
'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'
"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"
Justice 4 Ron
Sue The Bastards
'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'
"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."
"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"
Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.
"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."
'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'
'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'
Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.
"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."
'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'
'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'
The Epic Battle Over Anthony Kennedy's Replacement Is the Charadiest of All Charades Ever
"Manafort's was the best flip yet."
"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."
'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'
Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'
"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."
'Overruled, you may continue.'
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