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'I know! I know! But if I can beat chocolate, you can beat heroin!'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

'Look on the bright side, more gay marriages means fewer abortions.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

Fabulous civil union cake.

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

Runner going through hurdles.

"Oh no, we've been inned."

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

Labrador for sale

Civil Howdy Pardnership

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

Couple

"Remember, it's Boy, Girl, LGBT, Boy, Girl, LG . . ."

International Women's Day

"Thanks, but I'm in the midst of a lesbian phase that started the day I was born."

Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors.

"Hiya, sweetie! Don’t mind us..!" "We’re here to protect you from boys in girls restrooms..!" "What’s in the basket..?"

PRIDE!

'The dog doesn't like fishing so I'm taking the cat.'

'...like a nappy in the wind...'

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

'Nurse! With this chemo cocktail, get me some mixed nuts and pretzels!'

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

Dog hides eyes as car turns into vet clinic.

'Eating all of this coconut is making me feel really horny.'

"I guess "heterosexual backwoodsmen" doesn't have the same ring to it."