Supply Officer Pillows

'What do you mean you forgot to add toilet paper to this month's supply order?'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

Cargo Bay at Thames Warehouse

Distributor in love with a multitasking robot.

Supply Chain

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Your resume says you were a waiter...

Cheap Labour Countries.

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

Export

"You say we're running low on stock? Couldn't we just print out some new ones?"

"We've geared up our American company to provide PPE for our healthcare providers, and we need 'Made in the USA' tags to on 'em! Problem is, USA tags are all Made In China."

Up your end.

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"Well that answers the question 'Does the CEO understand what we do?'!"

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

"That happens sometimes, when people borrow my pen and leave the cap off"

"Yes, we've accepted late deliveries before... but 75 years!!!"

"I have been inputting garbage into my systems for 12 months, why is this spend analysis GARBAGE?!"

Budget cuts were beginning to bite at the local council

"Take a few minutes to introduce yourself, Ms. Berry. Not that they don't already have you pegged."

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

"I don't think you understand how stressful jobs like mine are.. do you realise I'm responsible for the entire cat litter packaging programme in this area."

Employee of school supply company in trouble for punching in late.

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

"Of course you don't need to tell me about your procurement plans for the year ahead. That would spoil the surprise and give us time to deliver value for money and who needs that?!"