Supermarket Scout Pillows

"I know you only have seven items, but you're just not the 'express lane' type."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

Only One Item or Fewer.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Unusual Offers

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Alphabet soup

Low Hanging Fruit

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

Artificial Isle

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Complex Carbs

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

Plane Yogurt.

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

Women shopping with children in the trolley.

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'