Superdad Gifts

"We do all our own parenting."

"Who...said...that...men can't...multi-task..."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Balancing work and family

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"First break since 2008."

"I had to skip my workout."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Food deliverer's baby.

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Hassled Mother.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"Which one is yours?"

Father and son with matching beer crates.

Luggage Mom

"We penguin fathers are the greatest!!!..."

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Father nursing his sick child

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

World's Best Dad. I don't know. I thought they were with you. World's Best Mom.

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

"And THAT was just the weekend!"

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Super delegates. A candidate could win the most votes in the primaries but lose anyway of the superdelegates want someone else! Can you believe that? Oh stop yer sniveling. In my day, the parties chose candidates in smoke-filled backrooms without even pretending the people get a vote. At least this charade gets you out of the house. Gets the blood pumping. I guess.

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

A father of three