Sunday School Humor Fan Pillows

"I think I know why you've been so stuffed-up lately."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Billy strip: help with homework.

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'That's what you get for skipping geometry class.'

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."