Sunbathing Connoisseur Pillows

"Ecologically sound gardening you say...?"

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Sunbathers.

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Beach flirting

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

"Yaffle: For the funny bone in you"

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

A gap between the solar panels

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

Where Summer Sausage Comes From...

'Don't you think your Jim has taken getting his favourite sun lounger as far as it can go?'

"How?"

Some of my Favourite Things....Things you absolutely cannot do when you have kids.

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge',

The Sun Bather

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked.'

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

Mexican Dog

'I need all the heat I can get before I have to go to the North Pole to prepare for this Christmas.'

"I know it's hot out, but it's way too warm in here."

Yep, you get to a certain age and you just want to fly south for the winter.

"We must be close, I can smell sunblock."

'OK, you wanted to shoot a game of pool and I wanted to lay by the pool. The main thing is that we're here together.'

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'

'Marcie has her own way of cooking ribs low and slow--she takes them with her to the tanning salon.'

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

'Life's a beach, innit.'

"We come all this way to relax in the sun, then lug all this stuff to protect it from us."

'Personally this Global Warming thing is right up my alley.'

Pearson, I Smell Something Burning