Subway Critic Mugs

Dimly Lit Stations: 'Try a lightbulb.'

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

Subway Thrillers

The return of Miss Subways

A scene from the upcoming The Taking of Pelham 4-5-6.

"This is my stop, Phil, you'll be C.E.O. till Sixty-third Street."

Metro Sapien.

Targeted Advertising

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Man crawling in desert finds sign reading 'Ignore your satnav'.

End of the World 8 Miles, Next Exit 10 Miles.

Sports futility vehicles

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

Downtown Express Turned Stagecoach As Two Cowboys Ride On The Front

"F train coming, Kemosabe - two maybe three stops away."

'It's an app that tells me when metro will get its act together.'

Cops on trains: 'Is that a truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?'

"50p or I sing that high bit of Bridge over troubled water"

Back seat race car drivers.

"Re-routing again."

Rock group on tube train, "Stand clear of the doors please."

"...and we're pleased to offer a complimentary glass of champagne to all those passengers who agree to go quietly in case of overbooking."

'The brakes aren't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...The escalator isn't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...why don't you walk up?'

'...The hidden charges...mind the hidden charges...stand clear...'

"You're in the wrong queue, sir. . . the 'Air-of-entitlement, upgrade-demands' counter, is over there."

Woman on Subway's Thoughts

'Passengers without a driver? Sounds like my local rail operator.'

'Are you sure this is an upgrade?'

Warning! Gas Prices Are Dangerous For Your Blood Pressure!

Rat's Tube Map - Left endright end.

All We Have To Do

Bag Men