Stress Baker Pillows

"O.K., class, next we'll pound out the dough until that ungrateful, self-centered son of a bitch realizes he's not the center of the world, and maybe, just maybe, he doesn't deserve an attractive, well-educated woman with a wonderful sense of humor."

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

"I feel your pain."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

Work avalanche

Never ending to do list

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"Most people would jump at an opportunity like this."

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

'The boss thinks you're burning-out, but instead of a vacation he's moving you under the smoke detector.'

Covid-19 Caution

"What's ticking away in your filing system?"

"What do you eat for anxiety?"

"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."

Exercising in Confinement

"You're too kneady."

"Thanks for the starter!"

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

'Have you ever noticed all the comfort food in a teachers lounge?'

'Want to help make cupcakes for your school Halloween party?'

It's a gingerbread cyclops....I ran out of raisins!

Office of Tax Simplification. Use other door. Not an entrance. Doing my taxes is confusing! It's so stressful I eat junk food for weeks. So, the same thing happens every April ... I find myself in a bigger slacks bracket.

"...Under pressure?..gain instant relief with Doctor Bengts information overload adjuster...."

"I sometimes eat and drink too much. My stomach gets very upset about it."

"You may have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but that's not why you're 10 pounds heavier."

Reasons to avoid training No 234 - "I was on my way to the gym but then I heard that the DOW JONES had fallen 2.5%."

'Oh yeah? Well, Dr. Rose predicts that my inevitable stress-induced massive coronary will strike in half the time as yours.'

Creation: The True Story

'Ms. Hanson, bring me some extra-strength comfort food.'

'...mix porridge oats, butter, and golden syrup...Rurghh!...then bake for fifteen minutes'?! Oh well, maybe next lifetime, Delia...'

"One last request: move my car to the 11:30 A.M. to 1 P.M. Monday -Thursday side of the street for tomorrow."

"I overeat when I'm stressed and I'm stressed about my weight."