Street Crime Satire Fan Mugs

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'Not much cop are you!'

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

'Okay, I'll give you the money, but this could negatively affect your credit rating.'

Mafia machine gun case.

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

The Codfather.

Therapy among thieves

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).

Good Mop, Bad Mop.

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'

Money Launderette