Storytelling Sage Pillows

"This is not the Puss in Boots I knew and loved as a child."

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Bullship: Viking Bulls at Sea

''Go with the flow' may be a bad way to put it.'

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Punch and Judy Sales Conference

"First order of business...no more memos beginning 'Once Upon a Time.'"

'First it was cave painting, now it's chick lit.'

Bucky's allegory.

"O.K., I know it's a long shot, but if we can each convert one lion ..."

"The streaming channel found my script illogical, primitive and bursting with sex and violence... they paid me 10 million for the movie rights!"

Tiny Tim killed by pollution

"How much longer are you going to be on your autobiography?"

'Once upon a time...long ago...before the pill...'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Sylvia Plath

"I should have called first. I'm here to blow your leaves.

"Dad, what is anthropomorphism?"

'Are you guys sure this is Sleeping BEAUTY?'

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

Three Witches from Macbeth

"Spoiler alert! Introducing these organisms into the environment is simply asking for trouble."

Lady of the bath...

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Tragedy and Material

"Look at that - I still fit into your grandmother's wedding dress."

"Less roman, more clef."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"And, after they see you do this, the 'promised land' can be whatever you say it is."

The Paper Route

Shakespeare begins a play about a ship's captain and a white whale... and realizes he's never even been on a boat.

"No problems here. You're just the only person who's required not to get up and leave when I start talking about my boring day."

'They were in Vietnam together. Then they went into business together, retired together, and now they're on the doldrums together.'