Storytelling Buffs Pillows

Literal Music.

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Oh, this isn't our primary home. Just an off-season time share."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

The Fourth Little Pig

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"Recalculating route..."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

Moby Dick

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

This side is the gag reel.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."