Storytelling Buffs Pillows

Literal Music.

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Oh, this isn't our primary home. Just an off-season time share."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

The Fourth Little Pig

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Recalculating route..."

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Moby Dick

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Hansel and Gretal

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."