Storyteller Humorist Prints

Never tell a bald man a hair-raising story.

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Edgar Allen Poe

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'