Storybook Satire Lover Mugs

"I brought him along just in case you don't turn into a prince when I kiss you."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

"Where the wild things were."

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Sleeping Beauty

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Cupid

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Many princes attempted to wake Sleeping Beauty, before one of them simply kissed her'

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

'...And the mama bear's porridge was frozen solid....'

'With this organ transplant, you may find yourself doing a lot of thinking with your heart,'

'They are known as 'The Magnificent Seven'!'

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."