Stoplight Spotter T-Shirts

'Look, honey. It's one of those red light running cameras.'

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'I'm a star!'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

Eviction Notice for Earth...

Deer Cross Dressing.

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

London map drawn from memory.

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

Cat on Board.

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

Sunset Attraction

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

8 items or fewer.

'Look! There's Santa!'

Do not pass.

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

A woman bows to the crowd

"Well of course we don't all freeze up in the spotlight."

'Euston, we have a problem...'

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."