Stocks And Giggles T-Shirts

'Yes...our chief analyst is recommending further investments in the new year.'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'Mr Sims, in honor of your portfolio, we're flying our flag at half-mast.'

'Will broker deals for food'

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

'As expected, your shares of de ja vu are rebounding, again.'

News. Volatile Stock Market. Lots of people have lost their shirts in the stock market. That's why they're feeling bare-ish!

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

"I'd like a job filled with adventure where there'd be a good chance of claiming compensation."

'That was one of my all-time great rumors.'

Meat. No, I have no idea what the heck you just shoved in your mouth, I'm giving away toothpicks. Free samples.

'This year's stock market compared to last year's? Well, that is a bit before my time.'

'If you want me to mount you 22-pound bass you've got to let go of it.'

News on television: 'On Wall Street, stocks rebounded on news that 'up' and 'down' are just states of mind.'

OK, buy! No, wait... sell! No, change that... sell! No... buy! No... sell! Buy!

'Do I need a pin number to make a withdrawal?'

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

'Stocks rebounded from yesterday's losses on news that 'it aint over till it's over'.'

'A job like that would drive me bananas.'

Joan grows tired of Lou's stock excuses.

"My broker gave me this Wall Street rally cap."

FIRST NATIONAL, TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

Federal Reserve Board - Out to Attend A Stock Market Prayer Vigil.

Dog playing fetch

'...it's a spirited, yet lightly delicate little stock that shows signs of aging into exquisite maturity...'

"I just found something else I won't eat."

'Oh, Cynthia. I must tell you. I just found the cutest little mutual fund...'

'There seem to be teeth marks in the stock quotes.'

'I'm terribly sorry. You can't adopt your stocks and you can't get them baptized.'

"You wouldn't believe how good they are. I'm making money on my asbestos and horseshoe stocks."

"For some reason, I'm always down when the market is up."

'You're very cute but your account is overdrawn - Ok, what the heck...?

"This doesn't look good."