Stock Market Watcher Prints

Despite recent uncertainty, analysts said today they will continue to make predictions.

'I kind of miss inflation. It was a great excuse to ask for a raise.'

Watching a tennis match vs. watching the stock market.

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

Watching the markets.

"Pour yourself a drink - the news isn't too good"

'In economic news, stocks and interest rates declined, but the decimal point stayed steady.'

'It was huge, it was in flames and it had 'Pension Funds' written on it.'

"That's quite a scary Halloween outfit."

'Your financial goal is to break even? I can tell you're an experienced investor.'

'The financial crisis is unlikely to worry me: I lay a new Golden Egg every day...'

"Today treasuries were down on news that bitcoin futures were up."

"Even in the great outdoors, you can't get away from the stock market, Jerome."

Cleaner looking at flow chart of Yoyo sales. The line of sales is going up and down.

'We know you've been down there five days now. You did say you're a full-commission stockbroker, didn't you?'

'Are you through with the Financial Section?'

'And in further economic news, the silver lining in the latest economic crisies has been downgraded to bronze.'

Stan takes the blame: 'Another fine mess you got us into.'

Investors can't blame brokers any more

The End Is Not Near So Open A Retirement Account At Once.

Bank robber looks worried, in Northern Rock bank run.

'Ms Dolan, when hanging up, please stop wishing clients a 'Happy Recession'.'

"You have reached the Nervous Investor Fund performance hotline. For the average annualized returns for the past ten minutes press '1; for the past half hour press 2; for the past hour press #3."

Oil prices

Consols at 90 - Man in a bad mood

Businessman Cut Down by Monthly Reports

"Well, I'm sure that Alan Greenspan's mother is very proud."

Next on 'Evening Shouting Match'...is it a bull or a bear market?

'More on the 'Down' Stock market in a moment, after a commercial from the makers of uppers...'

'Today's stock market downer is sponsored by the maker of uppers...'

Greek flag with 'junk' stamped on it

Economy going down the toilet.

'Our concept to survive the sharp drop is to give the stock-holders what they need most in these times...' (Caption may be modified)

'Only the years when the market was bullish...'

'I take my blood pressure medicine at bedtime and before looking at the market reports.'