Stock Chart Storyteller T-Shirts

'Tomorrow's prices.'

The day the stock market went UP.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

Hot pot

Standard And P****d.

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

Accountant Manqué

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

Men dancing

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

'In today's action, the Dow Jones Industrial Average cratered, then soared, then swooned, then skyrocketed, then plummeted, then rebounded, and finally threw up.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Stock market books.

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

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