Step-daughters T-Shirts

'Hey, girls...I guess the news of your dad and me may have felt like you were a bird hitting a window...I don't want you to worry about any sudden changed in rules around here...Ok...maybe a few changes.'

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Child on a schedule.

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

Ugly sisters from Cinderella fighting

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

"It's your mother calling."

Step Mom's Diner: Under New Management.

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

'Mom's Diner: your meal free if you wash all the dishes and take out the garbage.'

"We've found your birth mother."

"Mom?!"

Mr. Dombey introduces his daughter Florence

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

"Sorry to break it to you like this, son, but you're not adopted."

'Mom & her new husband' and 'Pop & his live-in girlfriend'.

'Will you marry us?'

"I'm dealing with tweens at home and fiends at work."

'Wow...nice job of bluffing with reverse psychology, Victoria!. . . Um. . . You were bluffing right?'

"I'll clean my room when I want. I don't have to listen to you. You're just my step ladder."

'Guess what, Mom - Suzie and I just found out that we have the same ex-Dad!'

'Make Mother's Day shopping a piece of cake.'

'It must have belonged to Mom before she married Dad. He calls it his step-ladder.'

'Shall we have a small family Alfred? - I've got 10 kids from my first marriage!'

"Okay! In the thirty five to forty age group, who's the fairest of them all?"

"...failing is ok."